Missed One!

I am finding that I am no good at prompt postings, so bear with me as I randomly spew events and information that might be months old.

I missed my last birth. By last, I mean the third I need for my certification to be complete. In order to be fair to me, I will say that prior to signing our contract, the client new that I would be unavialable on three days near her due date. I and another doula were partnering for her, and the other doula would be on-call for those days, while I would be taking the lead during the rest of her "window". Keep in mind that a woman's birth window stretches over five weeks-3 before and 2 after her estimated due date, so the chances of a baby being born on any one particular day are not exceptionally high. I was completely confident it would not be a problem, as this particular client was 15 years old and likely to deliver early, while we were set to be out of town on her "due weekend". Unfortunately we had to change the dates of our trip, and would find ourselves leaving town the night she went into labor (had I known she was about to go, I would have stayed, I even spoke to her that afternoon). My partner doula was in attendance, as where her mother, sister, and partner. Her birth went very smoothly and aside from a hep-lock she was able to labor and birth intervention-free, as she'd wanted.
I am thrilled she had a great birth, and certain that she had good support-in fact, from what the other doula related, my presence may have caused a too-many-cooks sort of situation. But that does not relieve my dissappointment. Much investment goes into my clients-time, materials, education, and emotion are all involved. It's like working to bake a fantastic cake and then handing it over to others to eat, never taking a bite yourself.
The fact that this client was so young was a factor in my sadness as well-I felt very protective of her, very concerned with seeing her treated as a birthing woman, not a child doing something she ought not be doing. That's fine line, and very subject to personal opinion-while I do not advocate teenage pregnancy, once the deed is done these young mothers are still mothers-and need to be treated as such. This client was sweet, polite, and had worked to educate herself about birth as no one else was helping her. She had a fantastic attitude, a bit of anxiety but no fear, and just wanted to meet her baby-on many ways she faced birth with more maturity and grace than many older mothers. It could be argued that her lack of fear was due to lack of persective and experience because of her age, which may be true, but it worked to her benefit.
I did continue serving her, doing my first home visit at 2 days post-partum. After I left I really felt as if I had done my important work for her at that meeting-she was having difficuly breast-feeding, which she really wanted to do, and had no real support at home. The hospital had discharged her without insuring she and the baby knew what they were doing, which in this day and age and that particular facility I believe should be considered neglect. By the end of our meeting the baby had nursed successfully for 30 minutes, with mom feeling much more comfortable and confident. So at least I was able to give her something.

*Unfortunate update--due to lack of support and pressure from family, she has stopped breastfeeding. This is an atrocity in our society that must be stamped out-please please please, if you find yourself in a position to do so support a nursing mom!! Sometimes all they need is the assurance that what they are doing is the best possible thing for their baby, especially if they are being told it isn't by others.*